One way to manage pain is to name it. When we name something, in a small way, we control it or at least we are able to endure it. The fearful experience becomes a bearable sojourn.
I challenge you to try this. In your journal name the experience you are going through with a name that amuses you, or creates a pleasant image, or is so horrible and exaggerated it surpasses credibility.
During chemo I experienced days when all I could do was sit and stare. I named that a Catatonic Day. This always reminded me of a scene from Harry Potter where with a wave of a wand and uttering of magic words, a person was put in a temporary paralyzed state.
I had Eggshell Days when I felt so fragile I thought I could easily crack. An illustration of Humpty-Dumpty from a childhood nursery-rhyme book comforted me.
There were Mule Kicking Days when my insides felt as if they had undergone a losing bout with a kicking mule.
I had days when I was first infused with chemicals in which I felt as if my body had been zapped and I tingled. Krytonite Day from a Superman comic?
I experienced Cardboard Mouth Days when it felt as if a layer of cardboard coated the roof of my mouth and permeated all I tasted.
Fortunately there were Rainbow Days when unexpected respite came and I had the visceral feeling of a deep surge in my body toward wellness.
My students added other names. There were Bad Hair Days and Smell of Doom Days. There were Call the Plumber Days and Rag-Doll Weakness Days.
Our culture values mastery and control. The pain with cancer is something you can't always control but you CAN claim the power of naming. It may not be the real world for others but may be a saving grace for you.
Now is the time to remember we serve a compassionate yet joyful God. Create a playful world through your journal, affirming that despite suffering, loss and disappointment, a full life can lived.
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