Monday, May 21, 2012

Chapter 3: Other ways of responding

   As we continue to reflect on the moment of receiving our cancer diagnosis let's go dramatic! This exercise is fun to do in a class but can also be beneficial to do alone.
Following is a list of 8 responses persons have given to a diagnosis of cancer.  Pretend you  are the persons giving this response. Except-- you are to take it to the extreme.  Become a drama queen.  Let yourself go.  Overact. Get into the response of this imaginary person.
1. Make your response as dramatically as you can.  For example: " No one has ever had anything this  terrible happen---etc."
2. Respond with apology.  "I am so sorry.  I know this is ruining your life and it is all my fault because---etc."
3. Respond with denial. "This is a terrible mistake.  I know the tests are wrong because---etc."
4.  Respond with blame.  "This is all your fault.  Why didn't you tell me about the dangers of---etc."
5.  Respond with resentment.  "I don't deserve this.  I have always been such a good person.  It isn't fair ----etc."
6.  Laugh it off.  "Come on.  You're kidding, right?  I'll ignore it and it will probably go away.  After all----etc."
7. Respond with guilt.  "I deserve this illness because of the life I have lived.  This is my punishment for--etc."
8.  Respond with anger.  "No! I haven't got time for this.  I have definite plans to---etc."
   By exaggerating we realize how ridiculous all these responses are.  Yet there are elements of each of these in all of us.  Here is an opportunity for us to learn about ourselves.  Look non-judgmentally at the way you tell your cancer story.  Are you looking for sympathy?  even pity?  Do you secretly enjoy all the attention?  Is the focus on ME?  Confront any unhealthy pattern.
   Ask yourself:  Is this the self I want to present to the world?
   There is power in language.  Look at how you refer to yourself.  Do you speak about yourself as a victim?  a patient?  a survivor?  Our words can become  self-fulfilling prophecies.

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