Chapter 4: Endurance

   The poet Robert Frost said "The best way out is always through."  In this session you are in the eye of the hurricane.  We consider the long, painful stretch of treatments--the "hanging-in" stage--the "going through" stage.  If you are currently undergoing treatment this session may offer you helpful suggestions.  If you are a long term survivor, it is good to revisit your reactions during this treatment period because there is much to learn about yourself here.
   Consider Pain. Though researchers are discovering new ways to lessen our pain, the reality is: Cancer is Painful!  We do not often get the opportunity to reflect and talk about what it is like to be in pain.  We get so weary of feeling bad.  Physical pain takes a great deal of our energy.  Tolerance for pain gets chipped away over the long haul. 
   Just as we are all unique in background and memories we also have different pain levels.  Some have great tolerance for pain, others have little.  Acknowledge your particular level of pain endurance and then accept it.  To fight against pain seem counter productive and seems to give power to the pain.  Concentrate instead on gathering all your inner resources and accepting the pain.  The suffering is as real as ever but the endurance of pain as a negative power is weakened and pain becomes an accomplishment for the sufferer.
   Hard pain has been compared to waves in the ocean.  One sweeps over you--then another.  It peaks in intensity then lessens, only to be followed by another wave.
   Many members of my cancer classes use a mantra (a short phrase you say over and over) to accompany these waves of pain.  For me, the phrase "Jesus, son of God", as I breath in,  "Have Mercy on me", as I breath out, has been helpful.  I remember one night in the hospital, while I was waiting out the long hours until I could take another pain pill, saying this mantra over and over, parrot-like.  It got me through the night.
   The Catholic priest, Thomas Merton, raises some interesting thoughts on suffering.  He said, "The Christian must not only accept suffering, he must make it holy.  Nothing so easily becomes unholy as suffering.  It is natural to prefer comfort to pain but beyond comfort lies grace".

   2 Corinthians 12:9 My grace is sufficient for you.  My power is made perfect in weakness.

   You might want to reflect on these thoughts in your journal.  
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